Josa Marie, the second-born Erenstein, has always been a grounding presence in the family, though she’s never sought out that role—it just happened. Born in February 1992, Josa is practical, sharp, and fiercely protective of her own. With dark brown hair and eyes that seem to absorb everything around her, she has a quiet intensity that most people don’t notice right away, but it’s there, just beneath the surface.
She’s not what you’d call the “typical” eldest daughter. Josa knows exactly when to step in and when to back off. She’s mastered the art of being there for everyone without being in everyone’s face—more like the reliable backbone of the Erenstein chaos. And when the chaos kicks in, she’s the one who can bring everything back to center with just a few words.
Nicknamed Josiah
The family had her pegged as a boy before she was born, so they called her “Josiah” during pregnancy, and the nickname stuck. To this day, it’s her unofficial family moniker, and she’s come to like it, even if she pretends to roll her eyes when her brothers use it in public.
The Bert Factor
Josa’s been dating Bertie Hughes, an IT guy at Best Buy, for over a year now, and while she adores him, she still has to convince her brothers he’s the real deal. Bert’s quiet, nerdy energy fits perfectly with Josa’s more understated vibe, though Will swears Bertie is one tech-fail away from being the “third wheel.” It doesn’t help that Rob and Will can’t stop making jokes about how they met him in the Geek Squad section.
Never One to Overdo It
Josa is the type who gets stuff done without making a fuss. She’s known to just handle things—no drama, no announcements. Her brothers, always the loud, in-your-face types, often forget how much they rely on her until something slips through the cracks. When James is busy playing “boozy bear” or Rob is lost in his own world, Josa is the one who subtly picks up the slack, like scheduling family gatherings or making sure their parents’ anniversary isn’t forgotten. She doesn’t need the credit, and honestly, she’d rather not have it.
“Josiah” Knows All
Her brothers think they’re slick, but Josa knows everything happening in their lives, especially when they’re hiding something. She was the first to pick up on Larry’s crush on Mrs. Wiggins, the first to realize Rob was secretly using Jed’s vape, and the one who has quietly stepped in when James got himself into one too many awkward situations at family events (his ability to change his opinions depending on the crowd is both impressive and infuriating). She’s like a silent observer, never making a scene but always three steps ahead.
Bargain-Hunting with Jed
If there’s one thing that ties her and Jed together, it’s their mutual obsession with bargains—though Josa isn’t as extreme as her brother, “Dump Truck” (a nickname she can’t believe has lasted since he was three). She appreciates a good deal but draws the line at some of Jed’s penny-pinching antics. Still, they have this unspoken bond when it comes to making sure their family events run on a budget. Jed’s more likely to skimp on groceries for a camping trip, while Josa’s the one finding the best bulk deals for food that doesn’t taste like cardboard.
The Family Referee
Josa’s role is often that of mediator. With a family as wild as hers, someone has to make sure no one kills each other—figuratively, of course. When Rob and Will are at each other’s throats, or when James’ attempts to assert his opinion start to clash with Jed’s ultra-frugal approach to life, Josa steps in. She’s never loud about it, just a calm word here, a quiet nudge there, and things somehow find a way to settle down.
The Tulip Connection
Her brother Justin, affectionately called “Little Tulip” by their mom, is Josa’s secret favorite. Not that she’d ever admit it. There’s something about his quiet nature, his sweetness, and his unique ability to just enjoy life that makes her feel protective over him. They share a silent understanding, often escaping the noise of their brothers by hanging out on the back porch or going for a drive just to get away from it all.
No-Nonsense Organizer
Despite her brothers’ endless capacity for creating mess and chaos, Josa is the one who makes sure things stay organized—at least when it comes to family gatherings. She’s the one behind the scenes, making sure the house in DeKalb that Jed, Rob, Will, and Justin share doesn’t completely fall apart, even though it kind of already has. The rug Jed bought that says, “The Place Where Love Comes to Grow” makes her laugh every time she visits because it’s so ironically misplaced in that testosterone-heavy household.
Subtle Rebel
Josa might be the responsible one, but she’s far from a pushover. Beneath the calm exterior is someone who has her own set of rules, and she’s not afraid to bend the family dynamics when necessary. Her brothers think they have her figured out, but she’s always been a few steps ahead of them. She’s had her moments of rebellion too, like when she started dating Bert without telling anyone for months. Her brothers only found out because Rob saw them at Steak ‘n Shake one night, and Josa played it off like it was no big deal.
Josa in a Nutshell
Josa Marie Erenstein is the steady, practical, no-nonsense sibling who doesn’t need the spotlight to make things happen. She’s the backbone of the family, even if her brothers don’t always realize it. Loyal, sharp, and fiercely independent, she navigates the Erenstein chaos with a quiet strength and an eye for detail. She’s not just the older sister—they’d probably fall apart without her.
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